October moved into November of 2009 with me still in the same position and not knowing what was going to happen. I believe God gave me strength to answer a call, as I can remember it, one evening when my mother called. She went on to tell me that a family friend asked her how I was doing and asked how I was doing. She told them that I was told it was Lyme disease but at this point we weren't really sure. He said: "You know my brother is a Lyme Disease specialist, why don't you give him a call?" Despite her excitement, I was so depressed and in such a physically poor place, I remember telling her: "Mom, there's nothing anybody can do. If they could have helped me, they would have done it already..."
But thank God for a LOVING wife!!! She said, OH NO, we are going to see him, because somebody is going to help us out! Let me suggest to you that everyone needs somebody in their corner who knows how to keep pressing regardless of how you feel, because if it was up to me I promise that I would NEVER gone to see him. I was done with doctors! I had been seemingly let down so much that I really didn't have any faith in any doctors or any kind! I remember talking to the Lyme Specialist a couple of days later. He asked me to start telling me what had been going on and after about three minutes of me going into my story he stopped me and said: "Do you feel dizzy? (yes), When you try and walk, does it feel like you are walking on a bunch of rocks? (YES) Do you have terrible nausea? (YES)" How did you know?!?! (For the first time I felt like I was really talking to somebody who could help me) "I know how you are doing because I have had Lyme disease myself, BUT you really need to come in to see me as soon as possible so that I can get you some help"
Still skeptical, my wife and I went to see God's servant, my specialist! I have forgotten some things about my first visit with him, but I do remember him asking me a very important question: Do you trust me? Based on what I have been through, I have to admit that I didn't have too much trust in anyone at this point, much less doctors! Yet, I began going on this journey of recovery. Can I suggest to someone today though, that ALL of the pain that you are experiencing right now may be God's way of helping you understand that unless you fully trust ME I can't do much for you. When Jesus walked on this earth, the bible records that there were places that Jesus COULD NOT do miracles in because there was no faith in that place. In my world I have definitely learned that sometimes people will stay sick, people will continue to die, marriages will keep dissolving, people will stay locked in addictions; not because things can't turn around but because we have often been sick for such a long time, or operate in dysfunction for so long that we don't believe life can be seen from any other vantage point.
Let me encourage someone today: Everything that you have been experiencing has been an attempt for you to trust God. I know you feel that the enemy is getting the best of you, but in reality all the enemy can do is be accused of attempted murder. If someone is convicted of attempted murder, it means that they had the opportunity, sometimes motive, and means to kill you. The person may have been shot, stabbed, or caused terrible harm...BUT they didn't die, so the person gets convicted of ATTEMPTED murder. Thats all the enemy does, makes attempts; because he tried, you may come out with some pain and some scars. Yet because God is always in control HE can't kill you, he can't break you. Why not?!? Because God said so..LOL. So, since God is in charge, why not put your trust in Him. You've been trusted everything else but him and how has that been working for you?!?!?
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